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ملتقى طلاب كلية الهندسة المعلوماتية في جامعة دمشق • مشاهدة الموضوع - نكت
صفحة 8 من 48

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأحد مارس 15, 2009 1:51 pm
بواسطة muhamad khyat
ولد الهد فالكائنات ضياء :???: :???: :???:

Re:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأحد مارس 15, 2009 5:16 pm
بواسطة Slik.Eng

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأحد مارس 15, 2009 7:44 pm
بواسطة ZerOne
L.Johnny: Can I go to the toilet?

Teacher: Johhny, MAY I go to the toilet?

L.Johnny: But I asked first!

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأحد مارس 15, 2009 7:45 pm
بواسطة ZerOne
One day Lil Jony says to his father:
I want to get married.
Father: Oh, so do you have someone special in your mind?
Johny: Yes , Gradma
Father: What? There is a problem now, you want to marry my Mother?
Johny: Why not? You married my mother

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأحد مارس 15, 2009 8:13 pm
بواسطة ZerOne
صحيح ... للي ما بيعرف فـ " جوني الصغير " هو شخصية امريكية وهمية.

وهو ولد صغير ولكن ذكي جدا وحكيم ايضا (مع انو صغير ) وقصصو عادة معبرة وذات فكرة ومسلية أيضا.

and this is another one :iok:

Johnny comes home from school, and his father asks him how his day went. He sadly reports that he got a failing grade for math. "Well, what happened?" says his father.
"Teacher asked us what was four times two. And I told her eight," says Little Johnny.
"Yes, that's the right answer. Surely she didn't fail you for that?"
"No... but after that, she asked me what was two times four," Little Johnny explains.
His father indignantly asks, "What the ***'s the difference?"
"I know! That's what I said!"

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الاثنين مارس 16, 2009 8:44 am
بواسطة M.nour
شو الفرق بين الإنسان والبني أدم :
الإنسان مثل البني أدم إذا توفى بموت :wink2:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الاثنين مارس 16, 2009 1:33 pm
بواسطة لذيذة
عن جد شكرا كتير باسل :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
أول مرة بقرأ نكت حلوة وبضحك عليها من قلبي :wink2: :wink2:

Re: نكت

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الاثنين مارس 16, 2009 7:21 pm
بواسطة Rabruba
محشش راح يعزي ولما قعد سأله اللي جنبه انت عزيت قال لا عالديزل :mrgreen:
قال في حمار يشاهد سباق خيول آم زعل على حالو وقال ياريتيني كملت دراستي :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
طنط ... طقت العلكة بتمــــــو... قام مات :wink2:
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:


أربع نملات عم يمشوا بالغابة وبيشوفوا فيل
النملة الأولى : لازم نقتله
النملة الثانية : لا خلونا نكسروا رجلوا
النملة الثالثة : شو رايكم نحملوا بس ونرميه خارج الغابة
النملة الرابعة : لا ..اتركوه حرام ...نحنا أربعة وهوي واحد :wink2:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الاثنين مارس 16, 2009 7:26 pm
بواسطة Rabruba
وحدة توفى جوزها.. أصدقاءه ما عم يعرفوا شلون بدون يخبروها
أجا واحد منهم حمصي قالون حملوه وتعالوا معي وراح ع بيت الميت ودق الجرس
طلعت الزوجة قالها جوزك شفتوا ماشي مع وحدة شقرا وصغيرة وحلوة و و و و
الزوجة يعدمني ياه... أن شاء الله يجيبوه محمل
الحمصي لأصدقائه: فوتوه شباب


وحده جوزها مات بحادث .... الشرطي اللي كشف على الحادث حمصي وفكر بطريقه يخبرها بأسلوب حلو حكالها :
' انتي أرملة محمد ؟؟؟ '
قالتلو ' لا '
قالها ' تشارطي ؟؟ '


* رجب عسكري بالجيش ... توفي أبوه طلبوا من قائد سريته أن يخبره بدبلوماسية إنو أبوه توفى.
قائد السرية وقـّف بالنص .... وحكى ' اللي أبوه عايش يروح عاليمين، واللي أبوه ميت عالشمال '
رجب وقف ع اليمين طبعا لأنه ما عرف انه أبوه مات
قائد السريه : ' رجب .... عالشمال ياغبي عالشمال '



:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الخميس مارس 19, 2009 3:12 pm
بواسطة PURE ANGEL
قال في وحدة خطيبها دكتور ....
مرة كان مسافر و بعتلها رسالة
فراحت عند الصيدلاني حتى يقرألها ياها
:grin: :grin: :grin:

Re:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الخميس مارس 19, 2009 3:40 pm
بواسطة GTR

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الثلاثاء مارس 24, 2009 12:00 pm
بواسطة roja
A guy went to America to study and sent a letter his mom to show her how quickly he learned to speak English.

Dear YAMO,
Yesterday friendatee invited me to a restaurant, we orders first KISSERS ( (مقبلات , upside down ( ( مقلوبة , and the dessert was hind's husband cake (جوز الهند) and made in husband ( معمول بالجوز). But yamo one of my friendatee is a moons player (لعيب قمار) so danger on my mind ( خطر على بالي) to go to the vomiting office (مكتب المراجعات) in the university that have the divorced salad ( السلطة المطلقة ( and tell them about my friend.
Yamo I bought two husbands of socks (جوزين كلسات) but the salesman was my mother (أمي) he didn't understand what I wanted so I told him your price on me ( حقك علي) I wanted to pay for the socks he didn't accept and said to me keep it on my calculation (خليها على حسابي) we became friends and he invited me to his house before I came in I shouted constitution parents home (دستور يا أهل الدار) I evaluated his envelopes (قدرت ظروفو) coz he lived alone in a small house. He insisted to spend the night in his house I told him cover your width (يستر على عرضك) I can't sleep out of the university but from here to here (من هون لهون) I knew he was Syrian too. He was very on a boy ( ع صبي). I told him that the next day the invitation would me on my mathematics (على حسابي). Friendato came to tell him instead of your safety ( العوض بسلامتك) coz his cousin died two weeks ago.
Make your touching in good Yamo (مسيتك بالخير يامو) , and see you soon
Your son Perfection
(Kamal )

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الثلاثاء مارس 24, 2009 12:15 pm
بواسطة roja
في إثنين جدبان واقفين على جسر :
رايحين على الشام كل مايوقفو باص يقول لهم ما في محل ،
وهيك انتظروا شي ساعتين حتى آخر شي وقف باص قالن :
في مقعد واحد إذا حابين واحد بيقعد على المقعد و الثاني بيركض وراء الباص بس ليتعب ينقر لي على الشباك .
قالولو أوكي ماشي الحال
والله طلع واحد على الكرسي والتاني بلش يركض وراء الباص وبعد شي ساعة دقلو للسائق على الشباك ،اطلع السائق برفيقو لقاه نايم قال : ما حلوة نزعجه ، قام ضل مكفى السائق إلى الشام والثاني اللي عم يركض عم يدقدق على الشباك .
هيك حتى وصللو عل الشام .
قام فوراً نزل السائق و بلش يعتذر من اللي راكض وقلو والله بعرف أنك تعبان بس شفت رفيقك نايم و ما حلوة منّي أنو إزعجو
قام قلو : مو مشكلة بس أنا ما كنت عم دقلك لأني تعبان .
قلو السائق لكن من شان شو كنت عم تدقدق طول الطريق .
قلو لأنو يا غشيم كان بدي ياك تنزلني بالنبك .

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الثلاثاء مارس 24, 2009 6:46 pm
بواسطة light rain
شو الفرق بين المكدوسة والأرملة؟؟؟؟
وحدة بجوز و وحدة بلا جوز :mrgreen:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: السبت مارس 28, 2009 12:45 am
بواسطة aidooon
بيجننوا !! :smile: :wink2:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: السبت إبريل 04, 2009 12:09 pm
بواسطة Mu_Nizar
هي نكتة صارت معي :wink2:
من يومين اشتريت عبوة حبر مشان عبي المحبرة تبع الطابعة ....
في جملة لما قرأتها ما قدرت ما اضحك
مكتوب عل المحبرة :

eek: :eek: Do not Drink or inhale
ليش معقول حدا يساويها !!

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: السبت إبريل 04, 2009 1:54 pm
بواسطة أبو سامر
والله ما بتعرف بركي واحد فايء من النوم ففكرها علبة كولا .

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأربعاء إبريل 22, 2009 8:59 pm
بواسطة الأمير
شو اقدم حيوان بالعالم :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأربعاء إبريل 22, 2009 9:48 pm
بواسطة N.Sham
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

مشاركة غير مقروءةمرسل: الأربعاء إبريل 22, 2009 9:51 pm
بواسطة الأمير
طيب شو اجدد حيواان يا حزركن... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: